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It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas...

Chapter One Stuff About Me

Chapter Two Mountain Men and Llamas

Chapter Three Introducing El Blanco

Chapter Four Off To Hollywood

Chapter Five It's Beginning to Look A lot like Christmas

Chapter Six The Day
Before November 16th
Chapter Seven My Neighbor

Chapter Seven My Neighbor

Chapter Eight More of Him

Chapter Nine The Grand Finale

Chapter Ten El Blanco Grande Rules

Fire From Hell

Butt Ugly Houses

Niles Minden

Letters to Niles

Van from Hell Fan Mail

My Portfolio

So Ya Wanna Do a Craft Show

Making Art

LA Times Story and Niche Magazine

chapters:  1   2   3  4   5   6   7   8   9   10
Continue to
Chapter 5
It's getting to be near the Van from Hell's release from the restraining order "episode". The big day is November 16th, 2002. This is going to be like an early Christmas! I'm so excited, I just might pee my pants over this. I do that a lot if you haven't noticed.

My neighbor has begun realizing that I am probably going to be very vindictive about this whole thing. After all why would I let him off the hook that easy! And would you even think anything less of me? I do have a reputation to propagate after all. I've been living with this illegal slap on the wrists for 3 years now....so it is time for the wormmmmmmm to turnnnnnnn....or whatever that saying is.

The reason it was illegal is that one, a pro tem judge, who is really a lawyer wanna be judge, in acted it and two it was on an obscure law which did not apply to us since we are not married to him, (thank Gawd!) but because we didn't know any of this going into court, we let it ride. No pun intended! We found out later about its legalities but figured it wasn't worth the money to fight it.

But now it is myyyyyyyyyyyyyy turn!!

We take the V from H out once a week to keep its little ticker going and its little tires round. Oh what wonderful mems it brings back. But the rest of the week it sits across the street, starring at my neighbors house. If looks could kill, I'm sure the V from H could do it. My Gawd I look at it and wish I were dead! The paint has really gotten baddddddddd, there still is dirt that is a year old on it, remember it doesn't rain in California, and there still are spider webs all over it. There were even some inside, but the heat spell finally killed those. I was a little afraid getting into it, because I didn't want one of those creepy crawly things on me, so something good did come out of that 110 degree week.

Oh, back to reality.............soooooooooooo as we are getting out of the van one Sunday, I see this camera sticking out the front window with the drapes drawn around it at my neighbors house. Now just how weird is that? Did he really think he couldn't be seen? Maybe he thinks he is invisible! Knowing how delusional he is, that doesn't surprise me at all. He is spying on us all the time and thinks he is being discreet about it! So we waved at him. It usually is customary to give him the Van from Hell salute, better known as flicking him the bird, but we were in exceptional spirits that day, after scaring some other motorists on the freeway. That always brightens up my day.

That evening he was out mowing his yard, so I happily went into the house and came out with my camera. All's fair, right? I thought I would let him know what it is like, to be minding your own business, and having it recorded for posterity for no really good reason. Know what he did? He ran into his house and dragged out his wife to take pictures of us taking pictures of him. LOL I wonder if we could get copies from him? I think I looked pretty cute that day! Anyway, my camera is a digital, so I'm just crusin around with it. No waste of any kind. You know, uploading onto the computer and all. His is a real camera.........meaning he is using film. What a laugh. I'm not only getting him to spend money on film, but processing too! I think I may pose for him more often............but only during good hair days. Remember, commandment #11!

We have come to the conclusion that this guy is so bored with his life that he needs us to entertain him or that he is trying to build another case against the Van from Hell. But the Van has been on good behavior, contrary to its normal nature and all. So we shall see what happens. I will definitely keep you informed.