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The Fun Stuff Begins
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Chapter 8
aka The War
So as time goes on different things are happening at different times. The blocks for the big wall have been out at the curb in the street for over a year. We are still waiting to fix the big wall! This is a common wall, remember? But in the mean time, there is no place to park the cars with the driveway torn up and numerous worker bee people here "all" the time. So the only place to park is in front of the neighbors house and across the street. The other side of the house has mountains and such and no place to park. He only has two cars which he keeps in his garage, so what is the big deal? His biggest concern all this time is that dirt and sand from the blocks is washing down the street from rains that come and go. Poor poor guy! He has such problems! My heart is bleeding for him because he has such troubles. Oh yeah and he has that hole about 2' by 2' in his back yard from where that darn wall hole was dug. Ohhhh ohhhhh........... I feel a heart attack coming on. He blames us for we got out there, dug that hole and deliberately broke his sprinkler line.
So we keep asking him when he is going to help us fix the wall. He still never replies. We tell him to get his own contractor and we will split the bill, but he must be licensed. He presents us with a contractor but the contractor has no license that we could find. We can't use him because FEMA won't let us. Does he understand this...........noooooooooooooo.

So now we have two stories going on here at the same time. The wall being the first one and now the second story starts................. He decides he doesn't want the Van from Hell parked in front of his house anymore because it is ugly.........ha ha, he even said this was the him it is ugly. I am appalled at his trivial petty concerns. But mostly, I am appalled at his lack of good taste!

Thus we go ahead after a year and have the big wall fixed but it is on our side only. He even complains about this!!! Plus he has been through 2 lawyers of which after replying to, we never hear from again.
So this is when the V from H gets it first paint job!!!!!!!!!!
I wanted it to look pretty for him so I started to decorate it just for him. After all I am terribly concerned that he thinks it's so ugly. This guy is soooooooooooo unappreciative!!!! After it's first paint job, he still sees no beauty in it what so ever. What a poop!

Oh, back to the little wall now. Since he can't get the cops to do anything he calls the graffiti squad who comes out and wants to paint over the stuff. Well, I won't give them permission and tell them I will do it myself. I did but after some prodding, as I was in no hurry to make him happy. But for some reason, my neighbor doesn't like it. Remember that revenge thing and his un-cooperation with the big wall? I choose Midas Muffler Purple to paint it out. I did the whole wall on his side, but remember it is our wall! I thought it looked rather festive and all. You could see it from the bottom of the hill and it looked like flowers until you got up close. I have now turned into a painting maniac! Give me something to paint and I will!!!!!
Well that vein of his is just a thumping and pumping and ready to explode. All it needed was a count down.

He just didn't like purple I guess. I think it looks great! Don't you??

He calls the graffiti squad again who come over and ask to paint the wall correctly. Correctly, I say with indignant humiliation. I didn't drip anywhere!

Well, I come home one day and the purple is gone! Oh my Gawd, who ruined my wall???

It has been almost a year now. We are a couple of days away from Jan 17, 1995. And "our" wall is no longer pretty. So I get out there and repaint the wall purple. You know I really like that color. This time I write on it in black paint "dedicated to Jan 17th, 1994". Do you think he got the hint? Heck no! This guy has a defective functioning brain.
Well it only lasted a few weeks and it was gone. Oh welllllllllllllll, it wasssssss purdddddddddddddy for its year anniversary. And I wasn't going to do it again. I really had better things to do. I think.

I did make one last attempt later on though for ol' times sake and to tick him off. I painted in red this time...............I like a change of colors ya know, so I paint on the plain simple real big easy to read letters............."Fix the Wall" I thought maybe before there was a lack of communication or something and he really didn't know we wanted the wall fixed. Did it work? Heck no.
(Ok, now is this really hard to understand, I mean did I spell it wrong or sloppy or anything?)
So we finally give up. I write him a letter that says if the big wall falls down, it is his responsibility to put it back up. We have done all we could. The wall is fixed on our side, of which he did voice his irrational opinion on......of which we did ignore and of which we were still having after shocks and of which it could still fall down. Oh wellllllllllllllllll.

Then one early evening there is a really loud BANG in the house. My daughter comes running down the stairs and says someone is shooting at the house. I go running upstairs and I see three little kids walking away from the house into the field next door. They have a bucket of rocks and a wrist rocket. And my new window on the side of the house is broken. DUHHHHHHHHH, what do ya think happened!!!!!!

We had no idea who the kids were. They were ages 10 and 11. I'm sure it was an accident but it turned into a big hoop de doo. This is sort of like a hub bub, but bigger.

The one boy lived about a mile away and the other two were................ta ta ta neighbors kids!!!! Good Grief. We don't want to deal with him!!!!! He can't even understand, "fix the wall", let alone "your kids broke our window"!!!!!

So we take the one kid over to his house to talk to his parents about fixing the window.......... when the police show up. Geeeeeeeeeeeeees, is this getting good or what? Guess who called the cops? Guess who said we were kid knapping his kids friend? Guess who needs to be put in a looney bin? Yep, you got it. Our freaking insane neighbor. Now anyone in their right mind, if they wanted to kidnap a kid, would not take them home, would they??????!!!! So getting the window repaired turns into a big to doo. That is half way between a hoop de doo and a hub bub. It ended up we had to take 4 adults............(two sets of parents) and three kids to small claims court. What a waste of time for everyone. Especially when the judge goes, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. This judge is so cool! He even writes it in the summation. Well, they all lost the case and had to pay for the window to be fixed. It would have been easier to pay for it in the first place, don't ya think?
So I have to respond to this. It's getting to be a necessity now. I have never bugged anyone in my life and now I am becoming a pro at it! I really liked my little jingle...........quack quack quack, the van from hell is back. It has a nice tune, don't ya think?

Oh , one more story before I forget. My DH's truck is parked across the street from our house. Now the reason no one parks over there is because when someone comes barreling around the corner on two wheels they have a tendency to hit any parked cars over there. It has happened numerous times. So in one of my neighbors scouting expeditions to get us into trouble again, he goes around the corner once. He is always trying to peer into our garage and yard to see what we are up to. I guess he needs a second look, because he comes around again and guess what happens? He crashes into the back of our parked truck. Does he go, "gee I'm sorry". NO, he goes, "what is your truck parked there for"? The guy is truly one of the world's biggest dorks.
Thus a statement had to be made. This stayed on my van until it wore off. He had to look at it for over a year. "Apology: what someone says when they hit your truck or break a my neighbor"
Ok, I think I have given you just a glimpse of what has been going on. There are so MANY stories it would take an encyclopedia to get everything down. These are just some of the biggies! Every time he did something dumb he dragged us into it and that was quite often!!! And that little devil on my shoulder entitled me to do something back.

The added stress that my neighbor has gone out of his way to inflict, to an already unbearable situation, was totally uncalled for.

He finally takes us to court to get our cars from being parked in front of his house. No matter how nicely I decorated the van, he found it objectionable. I really believe he should take an art appreciation course, don't you? Oh and maybe one on how to be a nice neighbor. Cause I was hell bent on getting even now.

So this want to be judge, lawyer chick, took pity on him because of one sign I painted on my van!
This was right after the so called kid knapping scenario. Now I think I had every right to do this after that stunt. Little does he know, it could have been worse!

She gave him a restraining order for three years of no one in our family being allowed to park in front of his house. We found out later the restraining order was illegal because it did not apply to the situation involving US and THEM. We could have fought it and won, but decided our neighbor just was not worth the time of day.

And this whole thing started because the contractor broke his sprinkler pipe after he couldn't make up his mind. Not once did I start anything with him, but only reacted to some stupid dumb ass way he was acting. The stress of that quake was unbearable at times and all he did was add to the mess. I will never forgive him for that. And the best thing was that when he tried to get the restraining order AGAIN, after three years of nothing going on and us being on good behavior, he made a complete fool out of himself in court and LOST.

But ya know what? He has contributed to the basis of a great 9 year long saga. The stories I have about him are bountiful and plenty. And I have entertained numerous crowds with our antics. The Van from Hell owes her whole repertoire of paint jobs, and stories to him.
So Mr. P........ I thank you.
Ouuuwwwweee, one more little thing. Most of the pictures on the "my neighbor" pages were taken by him. He has this whole portfolio of great pictures of my van, our house, and our friends' cars! I got them in one of the court cases we so joyously went through. I am so thankful for them. If he hadn't done it, those happenings would have been lost forever!
Do you know someone really took me up on this????

But this is NOT the best picture. The Best Best Picture was taken when the restraining order was up and I was allowed to park my beauty anywhere I wanteddddddddd to!!!!. I have dedicated a whole page to it alone.
Pour, Soap, Oil & Vinegar
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Salt & Pepper Shakers
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Piggy Banks Page 2
Piggy Banks Page 3
Salt & Pepper Page 1
Salt & Pepper Page 2
Salt & Pepper Page 3
Salt & Pepper Page 4
Salt & Pepper Page 5
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Custom Orders Page 3
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Chapter One
Stuff About Me
Chapter Two Mountain
Men and Llamas
Chapter Three
Introducing El Blanco
Chapter Four
Off To Hollywood
Chapter Five
It's Beginning to Look A lot like Christmas
Chapter Six
The Day Before November 16th
Chapter Seven
My Neighbor
Chapter Eight
More of Him
Chapter Nine
The Grand Finale
Chapter Ten
El Blanco Grande Rules
Fire From Hell
Butt Ugly Houses
Niles Minden
Letters to Niles
Van from Hell Fan Mail
My Portfolio
So Ya Wanna
Do a Craft Show
Making Art
LA Times Story
and Niche Magazine